Pirate's Cove

So Phin got tagged, and he has passed the pain goodness on to moi. In keeping with the way he got tagged, and since he is a fellow East Carolina graduate, why not stick with the drunk theme. I got a dandy. And it ‘taint pretty. Though my Mom thought it was funny.

So, this was back in the early 90’s, and me and a bunch of folks had been out drinking that Thursday night, nothing crazy, just some pitchers at the Substation II. Got to be maybe 12:30, 1am, and we had had enough, was summertime.

So, we had this house on the corner of 1st and Elm, and walked home. One guy decided he wanted a soda, so we walked behind the house and over to Wilson Acres, an apartment complex, to hit the soda machine. Dude puts his money in the machine, which procedes to take his money. Perry was a little ticked, and said "hey, they have golf carts, they look charged, let’s go for a ride." 3 other morons said, "sure, why not?"

So, we took a ride. Then someone saw us. Th smart move would have been to get off it and book. Did I mention we were drunk? Instead, we took it off the property. Next thing we see is a Greenville PD car. We all kinda jumped off and took off on foot. It ended up with me and another guy were hiding behind bushes in front of a different apartment complexes building. We stayed very, very still so that our shadows wouldn’t move from the entry way lights. The other 2 nimrods were hiding under cars as the cops showed up looking for us. Didn’t find us. At least not then.

So, eventually 3 of us worked our way home. And, then the cops showed up. Aparently, one guy got caught, and, must have ratted us out. They took us down to the station, booked us, fed us (yuck), and finally let us go a little after 7am. Hungover, no sunglasses, same clothes. We wandered back home, and, being that I didn’t have any classes that Friday and another guy didn’t have to work till that afternoon, we cracked open some beers. Yup, you read it right. There we were, about 7:45am, sitting on our porch at a house on a rather busy intersection, drinking beer. Everyone coming buy was like "now those dudes know how to party!" Got asked about it numerous times.

That little excursion cost me about $700 in bail, lawyers fees, and court costs, as well as 24 hours of community service, which one of the guys and myself did by cleaning up and painting a battered women’s shelter. And, yes, my Mother really did laugh.

Now, I have done some particularly dumb things while drinking, but never one that cost me so much. Though it was a dropped to a misdemeanor.

That is the dummest in my opinion. Let me share just a few more on the hit parade. We had an Aquasling. For those that do not know, this is a slingshot capable of shooting water balloons up to 2 hundred yards. First, we were shooting lubricated condom water balloons on the beach in North Myrtle during Bud Fest, with hundreds of thousands in attendence. Was lit to the gills.

2nd, we blew out a plate glass window, a big one. Yup, drinking.

3rd, we would launch them up so that they would land on a gas station roof. You know, the metal ones where they go "BANG!" Usually had beer available.

Finally, but certainly not the last story with ye Aquasling, we were just demonstrating, and the balloon, shaped like a handgrenade, carried. Blew this dudes screen in. He came to the door and looked at us, we looked at him, etc, till he opened the door. We booked. We then heard him tell this girl we knew that the balloon blew in the screen, knocked his cat off the table, then hit his stereo. Yup, lots of beer that day.

So, there you have it. Who shall I tag next? Ye randomness program has picked:

Steve L at Secure Liberty, Miss Patriot, and Billy Budd at American Dinosaur.

Now, y’all don’t have to write anything alchohol related, your choice on stoopidest thang y’all have ever done.