Pirate's Cove

Ted pulled his pants up and put down the bottle long enough to release this heartwarming statement:

Our hearts and prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the
victims of this vicious and brutal attack in London. The American
people stand with the people of Great Britain in our resolve to prevent
terrorism to our nations. (slurping sounds followed)

Yup, that is it. Nothing else. I somehow feel dirty excerpting the whole thing. He couldn’t even fit a second paragraph in there, somehow? Even Kerry had a nice statement. Harry "Old Yellow Stain" Reid even had more, which I will post to use against him at a later point

"I extend my heartfelt condolences to the people of Great Britain,
and especially to those in London who endured these depraved acts of
terrorism today. These attacks were cruel and senseless acts, committed
by cowards who see nothing wrong with targeting innocent civilians.

“I am confident that all Americans are committed to ensuring that this
nation does everything it can to help bring justice to those
responsible. We also stand in complete solidarity with Prime Minister
Blair and President Bush, and all the leaders of the G-8 Summit, who
pledged their commitment and resolve to fight and defeat this kind of
extremism and hatred wherever it exists in the world.”