Hey, y’all, Jebediah here. We ‘uns are still waiting for Ophelia to come on shore and play. Still. I mean, what’s the problem with this broad? She’s acting like a timid virgin. She just needs to get on with the game, and come ashore, get ‘er done, and skeddadle. But NOOOooooooo! She be a teasin’.
But w’ere ready down here in Redneckistan. We have packed the Confederate flags that we fly when Howard "scream" Dean comes on down to the South. For a change, the muddy pick up trucks will be cleaned. Pour some Palmolive on them, they get all nice and clean. Might even be some paint under thar. And the quarter million dollar combines, which we only drive 2 weeks a year and will put up against them Blue State ‘beemers any day, are safely ensonsed in the red barns.
Once she comes on shore, she will be a wildcat, like a virgin gone wild in one of them Spring Break videos:
Ophelia’s position at dawn was centered about 60 miles south of Wilmington. Its latest wobble seemed to be steering it on a course just east of Morehead City, too, forecasters said, and heading straight for Cape Lookout. But its precise track remains uncertain.
The storm’s creeping pace — up to a mere 4 mph this morning — means that it will scrape along the coast and the Outer Banks for about two days, causing power outages, flooding, and possibly severe beach erosion, forecasters say.
As my good buddy Puppy Blender quoted:
Boards on the window
Mail by the door
What would anybody leave so quickly for?
Ophelia
Where have you gone?The old neighborhood just ain’t the same
Nobody knows just what became of
Ophelia
Tell me, what went wrong
Can never go wrong with The Band.
Visit my other good Redneck friends while you at it today
