Pirate's Cove

You really just cannot make this stuff up

VIENNA, Austria — In some ways, Hiasl is like any other Viennese. He indulges a weakness for pastry, likes to paint and enjoys relaxing by watching TV. 

But he doesn’t care for coffee, and he isn’t actually a person — at least not yet. 

In a case that could set a global legal precedent for granting basic rights to apes, animal rights advocates are seeking to get the 26-year-old male chimpanzee legally declared a "person." 

Hiasl’s supporters argue he needs that status to become a legal entity that can receive donations and get a guardian to look out for his interests. 

"Our main argument is that Hiasl is a person and has basic legal rights," said Eberhart Theuer, a lawyer leading the challenge on behalf of the Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna animal rights group.

We mean the right to life, the right to not be tortured, the right to freedom under certain conditions," Mr. Theuer said. 

"We’re not talking about the right to vote here."

Well, at least they have some sanity left from the Tofu lifestyle.

You see, their cause is noble. They want to make sure Hiasl and another chimp are taken care of now that their animal shelter has closed, and they want to make sure that they can own property so people can donate to their care directly, rather then to another entity. Rather convoluted. It apparently costs about $6,800 a month for their food and veterinary bills.

Can you imagine the furor if a human was living like that? $6,800 a month? Here in the USA, they would want to kill them.

If Hiasl gets a guardian, "it will be the first time the species barrier will have been crossed for legal ‘personhood,’ " said Jan Creamer, chief executive officer of Animal Defenders International, which is working to end the use of primates in research.

Look, he’s a chimp. Get over yourself. It doesn’t matter how close our DNA is, whether he puts on cute boots, clowns around, or eats sweets. He’s a chimp. When he can go into court and speak for himself, get back to us. Till then, how about not going mental, and just work on the noble cause of protecting and providing for him and the other unnamed chimp.

Stop the ACLU has an interesting take, in a post entitled "So A Chimp is a "Person" but an unborn child isn’t?" and points out that Jane Goodall may testify

Jane Goodall…you mean the same person who accepts awards from groups that believe a child may be brutally mudered up until the moment of birth if a woman feel so inspired by her “constitutional right” to order the execution?

And chimps are “people.”

Only the Left could come up with something so idiotic.

Yes, only the Left could. See my Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup post, refer to the links to Right Wing News and Right Wing Nuthouse.