Pirate's Cove

Cracked takes a shot at determining the top 6 most gratuitously cleavaged women on TV. Interesting, in more ways then one, but, I could have done without #1. How could they forget about Number 6 on Battlestar Galactica, who spends most of the series cavorting in a low cut red dress, and Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost, basically there to provide cleavage.

What about the all time TV Women With Boobs?

#10 – Markie Post - Anything

It didn’t really matter what show Markie Post was in, she would either be showing her huge breast with accompanying cleavage, or there would be jokes about her breasts

 

In the 5 episodes of The Fall Guy, she probably was wearing a bikini in all 5. Virtually every episode of Night Court featured jokes about her breasts.

#9 – Jody Banks – The Fall Guy

Here is the opening credits for The Fall Guy

 

That would be 122 episodes.

#8 – Daisy Duke – Dukes Of Hazzard

The opening credits of The Dukes of Hazzrd features Catherine Bach in a bikini showing cleavage. Nuff said

 

 You get the picture.

#7 – 7 of 9 – Star Trek Voyager

Now, Marina Sirtis tended to show cleavage in every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and who could forgate Gates McFadden unzipping her Star Fleet uniform that one time? But, even though Jeri Ryan is pretty much covered up the whole time, come on!

 

Subliminal

#6 – Kris Monroe – Charlie’s Angels

Say what you will about Farrah Faucet and the other ladies on Charlie’s Angels, which was called “Jiggle TV,” but the character of Kris Monroe, played by Cheryl Ladd, starts her first episode like thus

 

They may not be huge, but they were on constant display throughout her 3 seasons on the show.

#5 - C.J. Parker – Baywatch

Wait, you’re saying you do not know who C.J. Parker is? Perhaps this will jiggle your mammory

 

Ah, now you remember. Yes, I supposed it is difficult to remember names with a show that is based on eye candy. Supposedly, there was a plot, but damned if I could tell you what it is. Personally, I preferred Erika Eleniak, but, if we are talking gratuitous cleavage, well, no one beats Pam Anderson on that show.

4 – Morgan Fairchild – any show she is on

Morgan Fairchild has been in tons of different shows and made for TV movies, and all of her appearences provide an opportunity to show massive cleavage

 

 You name it, she has the rack for it.

3 – Phoebe Halliwell – Charmed

There are many choices on the TV show Charmed (yes, I was a fan, but, hot babes who are witches? You know you like it). Rose McGowan as Page Matthews and Shannen Doherty as Prue Halliwell come to mind, as well as many recurring charcters, but, face it, everyone loved Alyssa Milano, who was constantly in clinging, revealing clothes

 

And, if you do not think that promo still is gratuitous enough, do a Google photo search for charmed mermaid.

#2 – Jeannie – I Dream Of Jeannie

How much time did Barbara Eden actually spend covered? Who cares?

 

Now, you may be saying “Hey, Teach, that is not a ton of cleavage and boobs! What gives?” Well, consider that Barbara Eden wore that outfit the majority of the time, and I Dream of Jeannie ran from 1965 to 1970, not a time where one was going to get what one gets on TV today. Jeannie was the precursor of deep “thoughts.”

#1 – Mary Ann- Gilligan’s Island

Now, of course, there were two gorgeous women on Gilligan’s Island, but, let’s face it: Mary Ann, AKA Dawn Wells, was dressed the way you would figure a farmer’s daughter looks in every “there was this farmer’s daughter” joke

 

Again, like with I Dream Of Jeannie, Gilligan’s Island was way ahead of it’s boobs time, running from 1964 -1967. Sure, you did not see much, but it was the idea that the breasts were there. As a sidebar, can you imagine a show which lasts for 3 seasons to have 98 episodes nowadays?

Honorable mentions: Eric Gray in Buck Rogers, Christina Applegate and Katey Sagal in Married…With Children, Nikki Cox (who would make the top 10 if people knew who she was, other then generally eye candy,) Sela Ward, Catherine Bell in Jag, Gillian Anderson in The X Files (you know you wanted to see what was beneath that stylish outfit!), Cybil Shepard, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nichele Nichols (Star Trek,) Lucie Lawless (Xena), Charisma Carpenter (Buffy and Angel), Yvonne Craig (Batgirl in the original Batman), and Linda Carter in Wonder Woman.

PS: yes, I know how gratuitous this post is, and I’m sure some of those that Rush calls feminazi’s will label me a misogynist, but, hey, I’m a guy, what do you expect?