Pirate's Cove

Funniest AGW story I have read in quite some time. Patience Akpan-Obong at The Punch

There is constant controversy about the state of Mother Earth and what her human children are doing to her. At the centre of this controversy is global warming (the noticeable increase in global temperatures in the last 100 years). The debate on global warming is huge, and it is used as an explanation/excuse for various phenomena.

For instance, the glaciers in Antarctica are melting and winters in Edmonton, Canada are friendlier and less nasty. Certain animals are becoming extinct and tsunamis, floods and hurricanes with female names are raging all over the world. The price of garri has gone up in Abak; the birth rates in Italy are in the negative and sky-high in Lagos and Cairo.

Don’t ask what the latter has to do with global warming. Earthnophiles will link every problem, especially population issues, to the environment. That way they can blame China for eating up the world’s food even if, per capita, the rich industrial West still beat everybody else hands down in food consumption.

Anyhow, I have come up with my own incontrovertible evidence that there is indeed global warming.

First, you know there’s global warming when the voices of nine-year-old boys begin to break and girls sprout visible “full stops” on their chests and hair under their arms. Back in the days before global warming, boys did not become men until way into their teens and girls stayed girls until … well, forever.

Second, it’s global warming when two sisters can’t hold hands in a busy airport for fear that people would think that they are “Mrs. and Mrs.” returning from a quickie wedding in California. Quickie, before the laws change again while they are still on their way over to the state of “Governator” Arnold Schwarzenegger. These two sisters quickly got over their fear and not only did they hold hands but had their arms over each other’s shoulders. They were an unusual sight at the airport, and they took mischievous delight from the spectacle they made.

Read the rest.

As for the polar bears, Ed Struzik, Calgary Herald

Nine polar bears found swimming 20 to 100 kilometres off the northwest coast of Alaska last week represent another sign that the rapid retreat of ice in the Arctic is forcing bears to make dangerous, long-distance swims to get to land or ice, scientists and environmentalists say.

“The sea ice is decaying, and the bears are in very serious trouble. For any people who are still non-believers in global warming and the impacts it is having in the Arctic, this should answer their doubts, once and for all.”

It’s not about disbelieving in global warming, but disbelieving that it is mostly, or all, Man’s fault. Ed does understand that it is summer, right?