Pirate's Cove

It’s been a long time since I used an “oh, snap”, and it’s either that or using a “spit take” GIF to read a hardcore liberal attempt to use Jesus to prop up “climate change” (as I do every now and then, “climate change” refers to the notion that every change in the weather is caused mostly/solely by Mankind, versus climate change, which has happened for most of the lifespan of the Earth, and is primarily natural). Here’s Chris Peak, Musician, freelance writer and creator of The Writing Cobra, at the Huffington Post

What Would Jesus Do About Climate Change?

The climate is hot right now. I mean talking about climate change. It’s in the news is what I mean!! Actually, the climate is hot, too, but that was an accidental pun.

Now that Bill Nye has finished debating folks like creationist czar Ken Ham, and Republican Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn from Tennessee (because really, who knows more about science and the climate than a 70-year-old creationist from Tennessee), it’s become ever more clear that the never-ending clash between climate change believers and climate change skeptics continues onward — like an obesity march toward IHOP on Sunday mornings. My head wanted to explode listening to Mr. Nye having to defend facts. Sunday morning on Meet The Press, when he was debating Rep. Blackburn, I was waiting for Nye to throw his hands up and just say, “Fuck this! I’m out!”

Nobody ever relates climate change with religion, but they are very closely related if you spend the time thinking about it and reading through the biblllee (sorry, I just threw up in my mouth for second).

Well, yeah, because those who believe in “climate change” tend to act like a cult. But, hey, there’s no better way to convince people who are skeptical than insulting them heavily, especially about the “biblllee”.

In the Bible, Jesus routinely spoke about not wasting Earth’s resources, to protect and love the soil from which life is born. Jeremiah 2:7 states (obviously, I had to look this up), “I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and produce, but you came and defiled my land and made it detestable.” Pretty indisputable if you ask me. You “defiled my land.” I only know that word from porno’s. There’s no evidence of this, but had Jesus lived today, I would think he’d be on a board of trustees for the environment. Maybe, Sierra Yahweh Club or NRBC.

Unfortunately, Jesus never said that. Jeremiah is part of the Old Testament. Jesus is in the New Testament. And the quote is not about damaging the environment of Israel, but sinning and offending God. So, complete fail on “looking this up”, Chris.

For those who want it or expect it, you can have your rapture. Really, take it. Have fun with it. RUN WITH IT. Because we might be dealing with an actual rapture in a few decades — one with category 9 hurricanes, dried up lakes (Oh shit, that’s already happening — see California), acidic oceans where fish grow bushy eyebrows like Bogdan from Breaking Bad (kind of already happening). Not to mention ruined ecosystems and droughts that make the desert in Lawrence of Arabia look like a sandbox.

Interesting, since there have been zero major hurricanes making US landfall since 2005, a span of 3041 days, the longest span on record, which will be broken in November if there are none this year. There has only been one barely-a-hurricane which made landfall on the US since 2008. As for the rest, none of it proves anthropogenic causation, just nature in motion. Though, Mankind could do more about real environmental issues such as dirty land, water, and air, separate for the idiocy of “climate change”.

Although I haven’t met the man, I’d like to think that Jesus would finger-wag the EPA superfund sites, stink-eye the Deep Water Horizon spill, and email blast congressmen over natural gas fracking. What would Jesus’ email signature be by the way? Sent from my All Seeing iPhone?

If you cannot even provide a proper quote from Him, how would you know?