…is extreme weather dropping oodles of extreme rain, you might just be a Warmist
The blog of the day is Weasel Zippers, with a post on DNC deputy chair Keith Ellison being accused of beating and threatening former girlfriend.
I’d almost never drop my 2 cents in on these posts, but, extraordinary accusations require extraordinary proof, and, despite Ellison being a horrible human being, he is innocent till proven guilty.
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Although the story was broken by one of his opponents in the Dem primary for MN AG, the woman he allegedly abused confirmed the story.
Why do men think they can get away with this behavior? Probably because they always have in the past. This case sounds as if the prosecutor should take an interest.
Interestingly, I disagree. Again, I despise Ellison, but, unless she wants to press charges, prosecutors should stay out. Doesn’t mean he can’t be vilified, but, still, people need to be cautious in accusations. Even against scum like Ellison.it could turn out it was consensual, yet, he could have his career ruined over it then we find the real story.
Teach,
Years ago I had a female employee call me up at 3:00 AM on a rainy Thursday night. “Git,” she said, “can you come help me? My boyfriend beat me up and I don’t know what to do. I’ve got no where to go.”
I hopped in my car and found her sitting outside our office wet, crying and shivering. I got her in my car, cranked up the heat, gave her some towels and a blanket and got her dried off. We went to Dunkin Donuts, found a booth and started talking. After a couple of hours, I convinced her to call the police.
The police came, took the report, went went back, arrested the guy and I thought that would be the beginning of the end of it.
It wasn’t. She declined to press charges against her boyfriend and wouldn’t cooperate with the DA.
She eventually went back with the guy. I was promoted out of that office and although we stayed in touch, little by little she drifted away.
Before I left we did a lot of talking. We went to restaurants so there would be no problem of a sexual harassment charge or anything. One of the things she said was that her father that she adored used to hit her mother.
To this young lady – who was smart, attractive and caring – “love” meant “accepting being hit.”
I convinced her to get professional help. I even paid for it, but only had to pay for one visit as her boyfriend said she didn’t need to go and so I only had to pay for the first, unused visit.
If she had called me again, I would have been there for her, but she never did. She left the company for parts unknown.
My point is that because of the way people are raised, or because of how they feel about themselves, they think that being hit and abused is what love is about. The abusers often think the same thing.
When I read the cited article, one of the things that struck me was the woman said she was glad her son was “sticking up for her.” It almost sounded like she couldn’t or didn’t want to stick up for herself.
I am not sure that I’d want the police or prosecutor to “investigate” the claims, at least not at this moment. I’d prefer that an expert psychologist meet with the woman to figure out how to help her realize that she is not punching bag and that love is not being smacked around. Then, if the psychologist thinks the abuse did occur, the police / DA should be brought in to completely investigate.
Ellison is not legally guilty of anything at this point, but whether the accusations are true or not, the alleged victim needs help.
I’d prefer she get it.
PS – after I moved to Florida, I was asked to help at a “ranch” here as a tutor for teen aged girls that had been sexually abused by their fathers. Between algebra and geometry, their stories would always come out and 90% of the time, I’d hear, “but he loved me and that’s the way he showed it.”
People know what they know, and sometimes we have to help them learn a higher truth – even if that means exposing the people who allegedly “loved” them, was actually a selfish, abusive buttwipe.
While we all may agree that the abused needs help, blaming the victim for the actions of the abuser ignores the crime committed.
Jeff,
Show ignorance once again. If you ever dealt with couples, you will find that the women who are abused will generally cause the abuse. Sounds strange but a good example was OJ. His wife knew how to trigger him and would bring on abuse for whatever reason. My father gave me very good advice once. He said to never, ever get involved in a situation of trying to rescue a woman in an abusive situation. The reason is that the woman will likely turn on you and you have two people beating you up. The cops know this first hand and that is why policy changed from the time that guitar is talkin about so that if you call the cops for a domestic, someone goes to jail, man or woman.
It’s not an either or situation Jeffery.
We should all agree that while the abuser is responsible for their actions, to some extent those who enable the abuser bear some responsibility as well.
The responsibility is that of saying “nothing to see here, move along…” or “he didn’t mean it….” or “he loves me….” and hundreds of other excuses for ignoring the crime or not helping in the prosecution of the crime.
No victim of abuse should ever be a victim. At the same time, no one – including the victim – should help enable a criminal to commit the same crime over and over.
Hi dave!
Blaming the victim seems endemic in your circles. “She just wouldn’t listen, so I had to get her attention!!”
How do you know Nicole Brown Simpson “triggered” OJ? Are you in the camp that men just can’t control their urges? OJ stabbed his ex-wife and her male friend, nearly decapitating her.
Where I come from, physical assault is the fault of the assaulter, not the victim.
Would you think it OK if a mob had killed the neo-Nazis in Charlottesville, who were obviously trying enrage Jews and Blacks?
Jeff,
What did I get from your comment? Ignorance, bigotry the usual list. As to the OJ situation, I remember a good discussion on the situation and he numerous references to triggers that the woman used knowing that she would face physical abuse. Let me assure you that you know little to nothing of most subjects and your generalizations about what people in a group that you have lumped together shows a level of mental illness. Get some help.
Guitar,
And what does your article from the Post say? Nothing. I have said it before, you have a problem with reading. That would not be a problem if you could discuss something in a normal manner. But you can’t and others have pointed this out.
david,
Your post may be one of the dumbest things I have ever read in my entire life.
So the woman goes up to the man grabs his fist and starts pounding her own face? You really want to go there?
There’s not only no evidence of that, what you are doing is basically saying OJ and other abusers are not responsible for their own actions. Apparently you think that adults can’t walk away from situations and fights. Apparently you think that the only way to resolve a marital fight is with violence.
BTW – how did Ron Goldman “trigger” OJ?
The policy changed because cops were having to go out to the same place multiple times per night to handle abusive situations. Too often people would say “I’m leaving” only to come back and start the conflict and abuse again. That’s why the cops now take someone to jail – they don’t want to have to answer multiple calls to the same address in a single shift while waiting for the one call where someone is really hurt.
Contrary to your assertion, no one deserves to get beat up in situations like this.
No one deserves to think that love is at the end of a fist.
You don’t want to help people who are victims of domestic violence, you want to make more victims while approving of the actions of the abuser.
Shame on you.
Guitar,
Once again you immediately start on personal attacks rather than a give and take on a situation that is very confusing for the average individual. Now, we have a limited amount of space for discussion your experience in this is one case and a quick review of web sites. That is the very definition of stupidity. Then you prove my point in cops arresting someone on a call. You don’t make sense. A normal, functioning adult will walk away from violence. The fact that certain women do not take this action shows that they have a mental defect that contributes to the issue. That is not blaming the woman by any means, it means that certain relationships are toxic on many levels and has to be taken as the actions of multiple people and not just one guy. I have had to take care of numerous incidents in the ER and assure you that nothing is black and white. Before calling people names, try doing real research. By the way, I looked up information from our previous discussions and found that I was right each time. You were wrong in your limited reading.
No david, my experience is a lot more than a single case and reviewing of websites. I only cited one case. You, on the other hand, cited the OJ case and tried to make a point that is not supported by facts.
Nope. You wrote:
The reason is that the woman will likely turn on you and you have two people beating you up. The cops know this first hand and that is why policy changed from the time that guitar is talkin about so that if you call the cops for a domestic, someone goes to jail, man or woman.
That is quite different than the truth that domestic disputes used to involve multiple calls to the police. You blamed women for “turning on you” as the reason cops arrest someone. Not men turning on you or the police, but only women. Not men who refused to leave the area or would leave and come back, but only women for the repeated calls. It is your position that makes no sense and defies history and logic.
And yet you only blamed women for domestic abuse saying that they “triggered men.” Sure seems like you were making a black and white statement to me.
Yeah….sure you did.
Here’s but one article on the OJ case that disputes your claim.
He’s a Democrat in a Democrat state and one of the bigwigs in the Democrat party. Your people.
So she confirmed the story, big whoop. Lots of women lie because some guy walked out on them, or got successful after she threw them out.
If there’s evidence, I mean stuff admissible in a court of law, fine. If it’s just he said, she said, it’s another Gloria Allred.
Black, muslim, democrat pol…
Certainly fits the profile of an abuser but he’ll still get the liberal vote in Minnesota anyway.
Puppies has a point about profile, but that nasty old innocent till proven guilty thing prevails.
Too many guys are convicted by Lefty lynch mobs with little or no evidence and that’s not right, regardless of who it is.
Ellison may get the black vote, will certainly get the Moslem vote. What the Demos do is a jump ball.