Unhinged America Haters At Jezebel Want To Rename Independence Day

July 4, 2019 – 4:25 pm

But, hey, remember, these Leftists tell us that they love America, they just want to change everything about it (via Twitchy)

From the screed

It’s easy to cling to the idea that traditions are traditions because traditions have always been traditions. It’s a cyclical mode of thought, despite fueling much of the baby boomer generation’s voting habits for the last 40 years! But if you stand in opposition to our country’s actions and believe we occupy stolen land—what are we really celebrating? Why waste a beautiful holiday on the rotting carcass of self-described superpower when we could be doing anything else. With that in mind, I’ve put together some quick suggestions on alternate holidays much more in line with America’s next generation, which still allow us to enjoy a long summer weekend:

  • Everyone Posts the Same Flag Cake on Instagram Day (Hazel Cills)
  • Unionize Your Workplace Day
  • MoviePass Memorial Day
  • Legalize Marijuana (And Release All “Drug Offenders”) Day
  • Crash Didn’t Deserve An Oscar Day
  • Old Town Road Day
  • Kamala Harris Is Still a Cop Day
  • Hot Dog Day (Megan Reynolds)
  • Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston Memorial Day (Julianne Escobedo Shepherd)
  • It’s Ok To Wear Those Flip-Flops Day
  • Reparations Are An Essential Political Agenda For Any Democratic Candidate Hoping To Be Elected Day
  • Yes You Can Eat Three Ice Creams Today Day (Alexis Sobel Fitts)
  • Abolish ICE Day
  • De-platform Gwyneth Paltrow Day
  • Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle Is A Better Movie Than The Original Day
  • Rihanna’s Side Boob Day

Save $10 on purchases of $49.99 & up on our Fruit Bouquets at 1800flowers.com. Promo Code: FRUIT49
If you liked my post, feel free to subscribe to my rss feeds.

This entry was written by William Teach and posted on at 4:25 pm and filed under Unhinged Tools. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.
Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed

6 Responses to “Unhinged America Haters At Jezebel Want To Rename Independence Day”

  1. formwiz says:
    July 4, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    Like naming Columbus Day Indigenous Peoples Day.

    Real smart.

    How’s ’bout Let’s Get Rid Of All The Lefties Day? Could count as a second independence day.

  2. Elwood P. Dowd says:
    July 4, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    tRump Resignation Day… that would be awesome!

  3. Elwood P. Dowd says:
    July 4, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    That’s right, Independence Day belongs to the Cons for hotdogs, fireworks, obsolete tanks, teenage girls in flag bikinis

    • formwiz says:
      July 4, 2019 at 10:37 pm

      OK, Mr Veteran, whose tank makes the M1 obsolete?

      And we prefer older ladies – 20s, 30s, 40s, even 50s.

      You seem to be the one who likes teenagers.

  4. John says:
    July 5, 2019 at 6:16 am

    Did Trump really day that the revolutionary army took over the airports in 1775?
    Well if they did maybe we should rename Independence Day to
    Airport Liberation Day

Pirate's Cove