On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my shrink gave to me
- Twelve Christmas Neuroses
- An Eleven year old millionaire
- Ten Commandments on display
- Nine displaced folks and a dog
- Eight tips to beat stress
- The Feast of the Seven Fishes
- Six cows stolen
- Five suspected terrorists out on bail
- Four Vikings in love boat trouble
- 3 made up stories
- 2 Strippers in Santa Hats
- and Tookie lit up like a Christmas Tree
For all the Christmas Crazy folks out there. No treatment included.
Oh, sure, you’ve read the homespun tips for coping with the upcoming seasonal stress (e.g., relentless familial interaction, gift-giving anxiety, Bowl Game viewing selection). But where is a down-and-dirty checklist of those real turkey-to-mistletoe neuroses — you know, the ones that linger in the pit of your stomach like a lump of coal in the toe of a stocking?
Having celebrated 47 Christmases in my lifetime — 18 of them as the youngest son in a Jewish family, 19 as a carefree agnostic and the past ten holed up in the guest room of my Episcopalian in-laws’ house in Cleveland — I know a thing or two about how the yuletide brings out the fruitcake in all of us.
Deck the halls, America. Carefully.
Merry Christmas, Everyone!
And a Merry Christmas to you Teach!
and many Merry ones to you!