November 16, 2004 – 7:11 am
Tips For Tourists From the NC Department of Tourism 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you’ll do all week at the gym. He doesn’t need your respect, but he sure as heck deserves it. 2. It’s called a ‘gravel road.’ No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get […]
November 15, 2004 – 7:00 pm
From the USAToday (online version of course. No way I am paying .75 cents for it) GREENSBURG, La. (AP) — These eager beavers had a whole new slant on money laundering. A bag of bills stolen from a casino was snapped up by beavers who wove thousands of dollars in soggy currency into the sticks […]
November 15, 2004 – 7:00 am
Good for a Monday: Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. Drive carefully. It’s not only cars […]
November 14, 2004 – 11:52 am
I almost forgot to post a joke today. Thought I had one set up. Here is a bad one :) John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that […]
November 13, 2004 – 7:00 am
Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted. A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don’t serve food in here." A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar […]
November 12, 2004 – 7:00 am
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY". One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a […]
November 11, 2004 – 7:00 am
An actual British complaint letter. The piece suggests two things: 1) Americans and Canadians are not the only ones who get poor service from their ISP, cable and/or alarm companies. (NTL is a cable operator in Britain). 2) The Brits probably write the world’s best letters of complaint. ===================================================== Dear Cretins: I have been an […]
November 10, 2004 – 7:00 am
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example: 1) Ziploc Bags — They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers — They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive […]
November 9, 2004 – 7:47 am
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow […]
November 8, 2004 – 6:43 pm
One of those times where the thoughts just do not come, and little interest in really seeing what is happening out in the world at the moment. However, I had the MP3 player jamming, and I started think about a post that Cass had on I Love Jet Noise, then I thought about how many […]
